Triggers of a Different Flavour

Everyone knows about the triggers that happen when a shitty situation arises; maybe you lose your job, you find out the truth that your spouse has been lying to since day one, you have a healing crisis, someone dies, or you lose your friends and family in your spiritual awakening. Yeah, I had all of those and more. Got to the point where when bad stuff happened, I was just used to it. When I was shafted out of a shit tonne of money, I was like, “yeah, whatever. Shit happens. This is my life.”

But then there is a triggering that is all together different. Something goes right. After years of everything that could possibly go wrong, going wrong, something actually goes right. You’d become so used to wrong, with no more fucks to give that when something goes right, it is scary AF. Your nervous system isn’t used to right. Your inner child isn’t used to right. You’re mind isn’t used to right.
Right is foriegn and unfamiliar. It is definitely happening FOR you but you don’t know how to navigate it. You walk slowly. Scared to make any sudden moves. Scared it might disintegrate before your very eyes like so many things before. You take baby steps into the new and cautiously move through the uncharted territory. “Maybe they’ll leave like the others”, you think. “Maybe, it’ll all fall apart again.” “Maybe, they’ll reject you, turn their back on you, or lash out.” The PTSD mind desperate to protect you.

This is when bravery is required. One step at a time, you move forward. The insecurity, agitation, and even anger floods your system. These emotions are coming up for release. These triggers are helping you release the old so you can step into the new. The expanded version of you. The version of you that knows their worth and the deservingness of the right that comes. The version of you that stands up, creates boundaries, and speaks the hard truths. The version of you, you were always meant to be.

These types of triggers collapse duality by forcing you to be in 2 energies at once; grateful and afraid. Weak and strong, vulnerable and brave. Insecure and confident. Old paradigms collapse upon themselves as two things are true at the same time and it’s okay. It’s okay to be afraid while you bravely move forward into the unknown. It’s okay to feel like a little child whilst stepping into the most mature version of you yet. It’s okay.

Today has been tough. Letting it be known, I am not worth nothing. I am worth getting paid. I have value. My whole life I was treated like nothing; abandoned, ignored, and gaslit. I’d bend over backwards for people and let them bleed me dry for scraps of anything at all. Well, I’m not nothing. I don’t deserve nothing, and I’m worth a whole lot of somethings.

I’m worth getting paid.
I’m worth the effort.
I’m worth the energy exchanged.
I’m worth being chosen.
I’m worth words in response.
I’m worth moving mountains.
I’m worth the acknowledgment.
I’m worth the praise.
I’m worth every kindness and love that I get.

I give.
And now, I deserve to receive.

Love,
Bee 🐝

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Guidance for Empaths, Indigos, Light-workers, Neurodivergents, Sensitives, Spiritual-Warriors, Star-seeds, & Twin-Flames