Why We All Should Complain: Understanding Anger, Rage, & Hatred

 

There is restructuring happening in my world right now. It feels like my inner divine masculine—the organising, structuring force within me—is stepping forward and starting to make real moves. And I actually welcome it, because I've been waiting a long time for this level of clarity and system to arrive.

Right now I'm learning things like Zoom properly. Not just sending links, but actual scheduling, booking systems, auto emails, consultations, payment flows… the whole backend world I never really touched before. I'm also trying to set up appointment slots so people can book, pay, and everything just runs without me manually holding every piece.

It's new for me. It's frustrating at times. But it's also necessary. This is part of the next level of structure for what I'm building.

And interestingly, while I've been in this practical learning curve, life also brought me a very clear mirror.

The Mirror Life Sent Me

I recently made a strong review about accountability in a situation I felt was mishandled. And then shortly after, I found myself in almost the exact same type of dynamic—but on the other side of it.

Someone came to me and said, "You've triggered me."

And I had to stop. Because it felt like one of those moments where life says: now apply what you just spoke about.

So I did. I listened. I slowed down. I took responsibility for where structure had been unclear, where communication had not been contained properly, where things had spilled into spaces they shouldn't have.

And what came from that was actually simple: resolution. Clean resolution. No escalation. No avoidance. Just accountability and clarity.

What We Were Never Taught

That experience made me reflect deeply on something we don't really get taught properly in life: how to complain.

Because most of us were raised with "don't complain," "be grateful," "others have it worse," "don't make trouble." And slowly, something essential gets trained out of us—the ability to say, clearly and calmly:

This is not okay for me.

And when that ability gets suppressed, it doesn't disappear. It turns into silence. Or resentment. Or confusion. Or the inability to speak when it actually matters.

What Healthy Complaint Actually Looks Like

So I've been sitting with this idea: what does healthy complaint actually look like?

Not chaos. Not explosion. But grounded truth.

And I've noticed something in myself — I was very good at positive expression. If something was good, I could say it easily. But if something wasn't okay, I would often go quiet and just walk away.

And in doing that, I was actually abandoning my own boundary. My own structure.

So I've been learning to do it differently.

The Emotions We Were Told Not to Feel

Part of that learning is sitting with emotions we're usually told not to sit with — anger, disgust, rage, hatred.

Even the word hatred makes people uncomfortable. But I've noticed something important: when I allow those emotions to exist without suppressing them, they begin to change.

They stop being purely destructive. They become information. They become clarity. They become the internal signal that says: this is not aligned, this is not okay, this needs change.

The issue was never the emotion. The issue was that we were never taught how to hold it safely.

So it gets buried — or it explodes.

But there is another way. To sit with it. To feel it. To let it move through without letting it take over. And in that space, something else grows: structure, ethics, boundaries, clarity.

Complaint Is Structure Forming

And I think this is the core of what I'm learning right now.

Complaint is not negativity. Complaint is structure forming.

It is the moment we stop abandoning our own perception of reality. And start building something more honest from it.

To watch the full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INm4NCWZr1E

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